So I went to uni, ended up ringing GP for emergency after two hours.
Dr. Thomas had to sacrifice her lunch break to see me.
I got the famous Valium (diazepam) this time. Dr. Thomas would never prescribe such strong drug to me unless she thinks it’s real serious. She also rang up the psychiatrist to request a priority consultation. Normally I had to wait more than one month to see a psychiatrist, but now I get to see the psychiatrist in two weeks time. Dr. Thomas wants me to see her again on Saturday. I booked the earliest appointment at 8:00am so I can still go to museum with my fellow Aspie friends.
So I missed another two lab sessions. I want to go back to the 4-7pm session to finish the edentulous denture. I have no idea why the condition has worsened so much recently…but I am determined to get through this semester.
Last words: I was frightened in uni, even a simple eye contact freaked me out. I guess it is ok if others can’t understand what you’re going through…can’t ask so much from people. At least I have all the Aspies in the world who knows exactly how I feel and my parents and Kolin who support me unconditionally. That’s more than I can ask for.
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It's alright, it is quite usual for people who have finally received the right treatment for psychological problems to have a worsening of the symptoms. The reason behind this is, you have to break down the old barriers and supports in order to make the new better ones. Don't stress so much about it! Just know you are getting the right help now, and it will make you better in the long run.
ReplyDeleteWhile having aspie friends makes you feel comfortable and at ease, I still encourage you to seek neurotypical people to talk to. But once again, don't be too harsh on yourself... and remember nobody is judging you, and even if they are.. who cares?!
Add Oil!
QUOTE: it is quite usual for people who have finally received the right treatment for psychological problems to have a worsening of the symptoms.
ReplyDeleteI like this concept :D where did you learn that from? clinical expereince? or the seniors taught you?
The diazepam has certainly works well so far. At least I feel quite comfortable since I've taken the first tablet.
Melbi talks to neurotypical people everyday in uni...as much as I feel uncomfortable to... I still try. There are some nice NTs at uni. Dini sent me a msg after I left, it was very heart-warming, she also hugged me in lab. David is very supportive, although he wasn't sure how to help. Billy kept telling me to "get over it", which I fought back saying that he has zero understanding over neuro-psychological conditions, but he is friendly and is going to cook David and I a nice lunch becoz he kidnapped our pharmocology notes.
Melbi is going to the museum in southbank with 3 or more Aspies :D So exciting! We're also going to have lunch in Toowong (near Indooroopilly)...will take lots of photos!
One problem with seeing Mikako is that, I don't really get to express whatever I want to express... she always lead the conversation... It is the same with my previous therapist Jan, I never get to talk about my week and express what I feel.
ReplyDeleteI still love my high school counsellor the most...she is very old, calming and certainly very experienced. I love the way she looked at me, full of love and understanding, and she always let me talk about everything I want to say before she express her own opinion. She has undoubtly help me through those difficult high school years. I wish to find someone like her. Oh, and she did "bear talk" with me :D
Yeah, I learnt that from clinical experience, and it is well documented in studies.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that is true, but I think Mikako helps you more than anybody else before her. See how it goes, she seems to know a lot. If that doesn't work out, try seeing you high school counsellor.. but realise the high school counsellor probably isn't specialised with Aspie.
You can ask Mikako let you talking freely at the biginning of visit. You have the right.Just do it next time.
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