Fantasy

Retreat to fantasy, when the reality is too painful to believe.

I wish I can stay in there forever, where there's only happiness and peace.

I wish I can stay in there forever,

Change of Routine

The stress created by change of routine on austistic people is well-known, but I've never realised if change of routine has any particular effect on me until today.

My clinical partner, Olivia, was sick.

Stef and Renee helped me out. They were both very nice people. I like them. However, the change of DA created an unbelievable stress. After a while, Stef has to see her patient, so Julien helped out. Julien is really good, he taught me a lot of techniques. However, the second change totally killed me. My stress level soared to 9/10.

Glad it's over now.

Autism sucks. It really does.

They are times that I can ignore it, and there are times, like today, I just cannot deny it anymore. It's there. I'm autistic.

Moving House

I feel so fucking lonely. Haven't feel like this for quite a while. Depressed and angry.

I'm moving house, and I'm all alone. Rarely anyone offers help and if they do, I can't tell if they're genuine or just being polite. Stupid Aspergers.

Seeing people in uni just stresses me to the max.

I tried and then I just feel so angry towards my inability of socialising.

I'll never be part of any group, it's just in my dream, forever.

Sometimes I wish I don't have to wake up and face the reality, the disability.

The disability that no one can see and no one really cares.

At this very moment, I wish I am not an Aspie. At this very moment, I cannot deny it anymore. It's there, I can feel it, I can see it. It's inside me, it's the whole me.

I hate it.

I hate it that no one can sympathised with it... I hate it that no one can see through Asperger.

Except for him, who sees through all the disability and sees the real me.